


Walking on Broken Glass

by Blackiice



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, Superfamily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 17:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackiice/pseuds/Blackiice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tinkr-tailr-sldr-spy on DeviantArt asked for:<br/>"How about if after a fight Tony gets hurt and loses his memory? Like, he and Steve had Peter and gotten married, but Tony thinks he's back before he made his Ironman suit. And Steve has to help him regain his memory all the while dealing with the torture of a Tony who doesn't even know him?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_As soon as Steve entered the hospital, all eyes were on him. He had dirt and blood all over himself, his Captain America suit had large rips where his wounds were already healing, and was carrying an unconscious Tony Stark. He had managed to take him out of the Iron Man suit with JARVIS's help, but wasn't able to wake him up, don't matter how loud he yelled his name._  
  
Tony was taken to the emergency room and Steve asked one of the nurses for some change to call Peter.  
  
"Hello?" The 18 year old answered.  
  
"Peter, it's Steve. I'm at the hospital."  
  
"What?! What happened?"  
  
"It's... Tony."  
  
"I'll be there in 10 minutes."  
  
And he was. When Peter arrived, Steve explained that Tony had been injured in battle and was unconscious before heading to the restroom with the change of clothes that Peter brought for him.  
  
It was a couple of hours before they got any news. Doctor Scott was Tony's doctor and was well aware of his condition with the arc reactor, no other doctor was ever allowed to treat Tony. He was a tall man with grey hair and rectangular glasses that kept sliding down his nose.  
  
"Mr. Stark seems physically fine." He spoke in his thick Australian accent. "Some minor injuries have been properly treated. But he's still unconscious and it might take a few days for him to wake up, only then we will be able to diagnose any possible brain damage caused by the head injury."   
  
It has been two weeks. Steve is going insane with the waiting, he spends as much time as he can in Tony's room, just looking at him waiting for him to wake up. Peter spends a lot of time in college, so he's mostly alone.  
  
He twirls the golden wedding ring on his finger and taps his foot on the floor in time with Tony's heart monitor. The arc reactor shines through the hospital gown, but it seems less bright than before. Tony's skin looks pale and his beard looks weird, it's still growing back after one of the nurses shaved it completely when Steve wasn't there. 'Tony will be so pissed when he wakes up and I tell him that someone messed with his beard', he thinks and smiles sadly.  
  
Steve is looking down and thinking about the battle that did all this, so he doesn't see it when Tony's fingers twitch and his eyes open up slowly. The first thing he sees is the ceiling, and it's so white and clean that it's actually a bit nauseating. He then hears the heart monitor and looks at the machine, trails the wires that come out of it and connect in his hand. Tony frowns before looking down at himself and there's something glowing on his chest. He lifts an eyebrow quizzically and looks down his gown to see something bright and weird just sticking out of his chest and his eyes grow wide.  
  
"What the fuck?!" He whispers.  
  
"Tony?" A voice calls. He quickly turns his head to the side, only now noticing the blond man sitting on a chair. The man smiles brightly, there are tears in his eyes and he's getting up.  
  
"Did you do this to me?!" Tony asks, scared, pointing at his chest.  
  
Steve stops walking towards him, looking confused. "What do you mean?"  
  
"There's a huge round thing sticking out of my fucking chest! What the hell is it!?"  
  
"That's... That's your arc reactor." Steve starts approaching him again, but when he tries to touch Tony he flinches away.  
  
"My what?"  
  
"Are you okay, Tony?" Steve sits on the bed and reaches for Tony's hand, but he flinches once again.  
  
"No! I'm not! And could you please stop trying to touch me?! Creep! Who the hell are you anyway?!"  
  
Steve can almost hear his own heart shatter at that and he gets up. Tony is looking at him like Steve is some sort of pervert, but he manages to push the button to call the doctor and leave the room before he lets the tears of shock run down his cheeks. There are four words repeatedly haunting his thoughts. 'He doesn't remember me.'.


	2. Chapter 2

"Your father doesn't remember me." Steve says into the phone, and it's followed by a moment of silence as Peter struggles to find the right words. "He doesn't remember the arc reactor, which means he won't probably recognize you either. There's... There's a part of his life missing."  
  
"Oh my God. W-what did the doctor say?"  
  
"That it's most likely temporary. Dr Scott didn't tell him anything though, he said it's better if I tell him, to gain his trust again."  
  
"Yeah, but don't just blurt everything out to him."  
  
"I know, Peter. Listen, I know you want to see Tony but-"  
  
"It's fine, I get it."  
  
"Thank you. There's some money on the top drawer of my nightstand, order a pizza for yourself. I'll get something around here for dinner."  
  
After saying goodbye and hanging up, Steve headed back to Tony's room. He stood outside the door for a couple of seconds, took a deep breath and went in. Tony was looking down at the arc reactor, touching it carefully, not sure if he even could.  
  
"Hi." Steve said to announce his presence. Tony looked up and nodded his head, signaling for him to come closer. Steve did and then observed as Tony fumbled with the device on his chest.  
  
"Doctor said to go easy on you, that we know each other. He also said you know what this is."  
  
"Uh, yeah but... Maybe you should just rest for now." Steve tried. He wasn't really sure how to explain the arc reactor without sounding at least a bit crazy.  
  
"Are you kidding me? I don't want to rest! I have a thing  _embedded_  on my chest and I have no idea what it is! A doctor comes here, tell me that I have amnesia and decides it's a good idea not to tell what the freaky thing on my chest is! I would like to have some answers!"   
  
Steve sighed. "You have a bunch of technical terms for it but, to put it simply, it works like a magnet. It's keeping you alive."  
  
"Alive?" Tony suddenly stopped touching it and looked up at Steve. "What do you mean?!"  
  
"You, uh. You were the victim of a bombing in Afghanistan. You were heavily injured and woke up in a cave, hooked to a car battery that was keeping the shards of metal from piercing your heart. But then you built the arc reactor." Tony looked confused, so Steve sat down on a chair next to his bed and explained everything in detail.  
  
"You mean to tell me that I built this in a cave, and then I built some sort of iron suit to escape? And it worked?! Are you not mistaking me for a comic book character or something?!"  
  
Steve laughed softly and shook his head. "You have the arc reactor on your chest, isn't that proof enough?"  
  
"I guess." Tony looked back down at the reactor. "Now that I think about it I do remember something about going to Afghanistan. I remember sleeping with this reporter and... I don't know what else." Steve grimaced at that, and even though Tony didn't notice he quickly changed the subject. "I gotta say, you look kinda familiar."  
  
"I- I do?" Steve said, hope making his chest feel warmer.  
  
"Yeah. What's your name?"  
  
"Steve. Steve Rogers."  
  
Tony's eyes narrowed and he looked a bit closer to the man sitting beside him. Suddenly his eyes went wide as if he realized something, he opened his mouth to say something but it took him a moment to actually be able to speak.  
  
"Oh my God. It  _is_  you! You're Captain America! I have this picture somewhere of you with my dad! Howard Stark, you remember him, right?"  
  
Steve smiled sadly. He should have known that Tony wouldn't just remember their history together like that. "I know."  
  
"How did this happen? Oh man, my dad would be so happy if he were alive! And how do we know each other?"  
  
"Tony, now I really think you should rest."  
  
"I told you, I don't want to rest!" He sounded angry again. "I lost years of my life! And I don't even know how many!"  
  
"Seven." Steve interrupted, and Tony looked at him with his eyebrows raised. "It's- That was seven years ago."  
  
"Well then I would appreciated if you would be a bit helpful and actually tell me what the fuck have I been doing for the past seven years!"  
  
What was Steve supposed to say? 'You have been fighting aliens and crazy people as Iron Man along with me, a Norse god, a big green guy and two master assassins. Also, we're married and have a son.' was probably not the best approach.   
  
"Listen, you need to calm down. I can't just blurt out a bunch of information for you in a day. I'll help you go through this if you let me, but slowly. I don't want to confuse you even further."  
  
There is a long pause until Tony finally speaks.  
  
"Sure." He says with a shrug, and Steve's heart aches because this is not the Tony he's used to. This is a Tony he never knew, a person who never went through months in captive that slightly changed his perspective over some things, a person who is used to living off building and selling guns but was never involved in any serious war issue. The Tony he know,  _his_ Tony would have apologized.  
  
"I'm- I better go now. I'd tell you to rest but you'd just yell at me again, so." Steve turns around and leaves without looking back at Tony. He doesn't know how much of this he is going to take, but he knows that he had enough for a day.


	3. Chapter 3

Every single one of Tony's muscles feels strained, his skin burns and every movement is painful. It's dark and he wants to get away, he doesn't know where to go but anywhere other than that place would be good enough. He feels week.  
  
Strong men surround him, yell at him. Tony doesn't understand what they're saying and when he doesn't answer they hit him. Someone roughly grabs his hair, his heart hurts and he can't breathe because his face is underwater. When they pull him back up, there's a man. He's bald and wears glasses and Tony is happy to see him. ' _Yinsen_ ', Tony whispers and the man smiles.  
  
There are shots being fired and Tony feels heavy. Yinsen is wounded and Tony runs to him, his steps echoing loudly in the cave, but not loud enough from him not to hear Yinsen's whisper. 'Don't waste it. Don't waste your life.', he struggles to say before vanishing into thin air and Tony wakes up with a jolt, feeling sticky from sweat. The heart monitor beeps way to fast and he glares at the machine before letting out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.  
  
This wasn't just his mind replaying what the Captain had told him earlier, Steve didn't mention Yinsen. It was a memory, and now that Tony is awake he remembered Yinsen, he remembered that he helped to built the iron suit Steve talked about the day before, he remembered the way he talked about his family and how he told Tony that he was a man who had everything, but had nothing. The memory of Yinsen dying in front of his eyes made him angry and he wished he didn't remember.  
  
Pepper visited him that afternoon, and it was great, because he remembered her. Her hair was longer, but that was the only thing different about her, it was still Pepper and her presence was comfortable.  
  
"How's Rhodey?" Tony says when she starts the annoying small talk you always have when visiting someone at the hospital.  
  
"He wanted to come, but he's busy."  
  
"Right. He's still my friend then?"  
  
"Yes." Pepper smiles and holds back the urge to tell Tony that Rhodes was his best man.  
  
"And you're here, so I guess you're not tired of me yet either." Once again she smiles. "I want coffee. Pepper, go get me coffee."  
  
"I'm not your assistant anymore, Tony. And I don't think you're allowed to have coffee yet."  
  
"Wait, what? You're not my assistant?"  
  
"You promoted me. I run your company."  
  
"How drunk was I when that happened?!"  
  
Pepper just shook her head and smiled. Again. And that's the great thing about Pepper, she always handles things well and, if possible, with a smile. Sure, she'll get nervous and yell at Tony, but that's because she has to put up with Tony, and in his opinion no one deserves such a fate. But there she is, smiling, and Tony feels like he could just stay like this, not knowing what happened in the last seven years.  
  
"What can you tell me about Steve Rogers?" Tony asks her, because if she's running his company he must trust her judgement.  
  
"He's a good guy. A very good guy, don't ruin everything just because you don't remember him, Tony." Pepper had this stern look on her face, like a mother warning her son that if he messes up, he's going to pay.

"I don't even know what is there to ruin!"  
  
"And I won't tell you. We spoke on the phone before I came here, he'll be here later."  
  
"He's useless, won't tell me anything." Tony shrugs.  
  
"Tony!"  
  
"What? You two are the ones ganging up against me!"  
  
"We are not- Tony, this is for your own good. You have to trust Steve, no one can help you better than him."  
  
"You could. At least I know who you are."  
  
"He knows you better than I do."  
  
Tony sneers and Pepper gives him that stern look again. He waves a hand dismissively as she gets up to leave.  
  
It's not even five minutes after Pepper leaves when Tony starts to feel a headache and is forced to lay down again. He should have asked Pepper to bring him is iPad, looking at a white wall is not really entertaining and Tony feels that he might go insane if he doesn't do something. So he tries to sleep, hoping that maybe he will remember something else.  
  
After twenty more minutes without being able to sleep, Tony gets bored of that so he sits up again. The wall didn't get any more interesting while he was laying down, so he groans and runs a frustrated hand trough his hair. Someone knocks on the door and Tony's not sure if that makes him happy or if someone's company will make him even more frustrated, but he he tells whoever it is to come in.  
  
It's Steve, of course, and Tony definitely gets frustrated and groans again. Steve doesn't seem bothered by it and sits down next to his bed, on the same chair Pepper was earlier.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Tony asks.  
  
"Checking on you, what do you think?"  
  
"I think it's unnecessary."  
  
Steve wants to say that he cares about Tony, that he misses him at home,  _their_  home, and that's why he wants to visit him everyday. Of course, he can't say that so he ends up saying nothing at all.  
  
Tony wonders if he should tell Steve about the dream he had, for some reason he almost wants to, but decides against it. He feels that it would just make things weird.  
  
"Alright," Tony starts to break the silence. "Yesterday you said you wouldn't tell me everything in a day. Today is another day."  
  
"Fair enough." Steve agrees. "Anything in particular you wanna know?"  
  
"Did I continue making weapons after the whole Afghanistan thing?"  
  
"No. You started using the arc reactor technology as an energy source."  
  
"Oh. Okay. How did we meet?" Steve shook his head and Tony groaned. "Come on! Why won't you tell me?!"  
  
"Because there are a bunch of stuff that you need to know before that."  
  
"Start telling me that stuff, then!"  
  
"It's not good to force the information in your brain."  
  
"I was right, you're useless." Tony mumbles and looks away. There is a long pause before he starts talking again. "Did the arc reactor thing work out? For the company, I mean."  
  
"Yes." Steve replies after a heavy sigh to clean the pain from his voice. "You're still rich."  
  
Yinsen's voice is on his mind again before he even knows what's happening. ' _So you're a man who has everything... And nothing._ '  
  
"Great." He says with a smile, the smile he always has on his face when he lies to the others and himself. He just doesn't know that Steve can see right through it.


	4. Chapter 4

Every night Tony goes to sleep hoping to have another dream that will show him another bit of himself, but the dreams are always blurry. There are faces of people he doesn't remember but he gets a feeling that he knows them and he tries to reach for them but they drift away. He ends up waking up with a huge headache, feeling frustrated and lost.  
  
Steve is in a lot of those dreams and he's the one he tries to reach more often. Tony decides that the reason is that Steve is at the Hospital all the time, which is really, really annoying. Steve tells him little things that he doesn't believe, like when he said that Tony doesn't drink as much as he used to anymore, or that Pepper is married to Happy now. The daily visits make Tony feel closer to Steve, which is why Tony acts even more distant.  


* * *

  
  
It's Saturday night and Steve just arrived home. Peter is in the living room watching TV, but his gaze turns to his father quickly.  
  
"We're gonna have to move out of here." Steve says, not delaying the subject any further.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Tony's going to be released from the hospital soon and he doesn't remember living with us. You should maybe start packing, it's temporary but we can't leave anything from ours behind. We'll have to take everything out of your room, make it like you never lived in there." Steve's voice is broken and he doesn't look Peter in the eyes.  
  
"Okay." Peter replies after a long pause and gets up from the couch before Steve can see the tears in his eyes, knowing it was hard enough for him to deal with his own pain. He gone within seconds.  
  
On the next morning they discuss it better over breakfast and Peter tells Steve that he was looking for a nice place for them to rent on the internet and found a good apartment. Steve smiles sadly at him and it breaks Peter's heart because it's the only kind of smile Steve shows these days.  
  
"I miss dad." It's too late when Peter notices he said that out loud.  
  
"I was thinking you could come with me and visit him."  
  
-x-  
  
"Who's the brat?" Most people would say 'hello', but Tony is not most people and when Steve enters the room with a teenager it annoys him.  
  
"My son." Steve replies, studying the look on Peter's face. He had warned the boy of Tony's change in personality, but Peter was still pretty shocked at the sound of his dad calling him a brat.  
  
"You have a son?" Tony asks, suddenly interested. "You never told me you had a son."  
  
"I'm telling you now."  
  
"What's your name, kid?"  
  
"Uh. Peter." It comes out almost as low as a whisper and it's a miracle that Peter could even speak at all with all the things running through his mind. He wanted to hug Tony, but at the same time he felt like he didn't know the man in front of him.  
  
"So, you're married?" Tony turns his attention back to Steve.  
  
"Yes. But Peter is adopted." Tony raised an eyebrow as he usually does instead of saying 'tell me more about it', and Steve shakes his head.  
  
"But it's not even about me, Steve!" Tony's almost certain he can see the hurt in Steve's eyes, but he has no idea what caused it. He looks back at Peter, but the boy is looking at his lap where his thumbs are fidgeting.  
  
"It's... Complicated." Steve finally says and Tony looks back at him before letting out a frustrated groan.  
  
"You always say that, but you're not the one who wants the answers."  
  
"Believe me," Peter speaks, but he's not looking up. "It's just as hard for him as it is for you."  
  
Tony is puzzled by that sentence and spends a long moment looking at the boy. He wants to figure him out, even though he's not sure why, and somewhere in the back of his brain he thinks that he likes him. It takes Tony a while to remember that Peter is also in his dreams.  
  
"Alright, Peter." Tony says to get his attention and doesn't continue until Peter's looking back at him. "You don't have to explain, your dad wouldn't let you anyway, so just answer. Do we know each other? Are we close?"  
  
"Yes, and yes." Peter replies and Tony feels better inside.  
  
That night, after Steve and Peter leave, Tony takes way too long to fall asleep. He wants to dream, maybe this time he will learn more about Peter, but his mind is playing tricks on him and he stares at the white ceiling for longer than usual. He gets up and heads to the bathroom to wash is face. After facing the mirror for an extra second, Tony gets a sensation of deja vú that makes his chest hurt. He shuts his eyes and images flash in his mind; he's facing a mirror, his shirt is opened and there are odd markings all over his chest. A little device shows high toxicity levels and there's a party, he's drinking and dancing and people are laughing at how drunk he is.  
  
When Tony opens his eyes again he's back at the hospital and his head feels like it's exploding. After looking down to his chest to see that the marks are gone he heads back to bed and falls asleep sooner than he had expected.  
  
It feels like he's flying, and when Tony opens his eyes he really is. He can see the world beneath him and he's thrilled, he can hear JARVIS speaking to him and soon there's a loud bang and he almost falls. He hears Rhodey's voice and when he lands there are lots of people, reporters, waiting for him. Tony wakes up and his head hurts even more than before as he whispers 'I am Iron Man'.


	5. Chapter 5

"I am Iron Man." Tony blurted out, eyes never leaving the window, when he felt Steve's presence in the room. "And you didn't tell me."  
  
"Would you believe me if I did?"  
  
"Who cares! And I almost died, too!" Tony was finally facing Steve, his finger tapping furiously at the arc reactor. "You told me this thing was keeping me alive but it almost killed me!"  
  
"You had some problems with the first reactor you built, but then you created a new one, the one on your chest right now. You're safe."  
  
"That's not an excuse to not tell me about it."  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry." Steve was finally approaching the bed. "But I couldn't tell you."  
  
"Whatever. I'm leaving this place tomorrow anyway."  
  
"You know, that won't stop me from visiting you."  
  
"You're kidding, right?" Tony would never admit that he was hoping Steve would say that, but the surprised tone in his voice was genuine since he really didn't believe anyone would care so much for him.  
  
"Of course I'm not. Unless you really don't want me to go..."  
  
"Whatever." Tony replies with a shrug. "Do what you want."  
  
Steve smiled a little as he shook his head, seeing right through Tony as he usually does. It's the main reason why their relationship works, because no matter how distant and cold Tony acts, Steve knows the truth beneath that mask. He's so lost thinking about that, that he doesn't even notice the nurse who entered the room until she lightly taps his shoulder and asks him to move away. Steve smiles at her and gets up from his chair before walking away to give her space.  
  
The nurse is checking Tony's temperature when Steve notices the look Tony is giving her. He's smiling only slightly while looking intensively up at her and Steve knows it won't take long for him to make a comment on how beautiful she is.  
  
"Aren't you a little too pretty to spend your days surrounded by old sick guys?"  
  
Steve is out of the room before she can answer because he honestly never saw Tony being rejected and he doesn't think he can handle the image of a young nurse giggling at his husband's flirty words. It's not like Steve's not  used to it, being flirty is a part of Tony's personality and he never stopped doing it, but Steve knew it was all fun and games and at the end of the day the only person Tony wanted was him. Now it's different and Steve's heart is crushed by the thought of Tony hooking up with someone.  
  
When Steve arrives at the hospital with Peter the next day, Tony is already dressed and ready to leave. He says goodbye to all the beautiful nurses that cross his path and Peter glares at him. Steve just chooses to ignore it.  
  
"We need to celebrate," Tony starts, his words directed to Steve but not looking at him. "Let's go out for drinks tonight. I know this bar with the best dancers, I once convinced two to come home with me and-"  
  
"I thought you had to rest." Peter interrupted.  
  
"Screw that, I was trapped in that room for way too long. So. You're in?" He finally looks at Steve, waiting for an answer.  
  
"I think Peter's right, you shouldn't go out late at night and you're not allowed to drink alcohol either."  
  
"Oh, for fuck sake, you two are so boring. Alright, fine. Let's do something now, then. As much as I miss JARVIS and my workshop I need to get some fresh air after staring at a wall for so long."  
  
For the lack of a better idea, the three of them end up going to the mall. They catch a movie before heading to the restaurant floor to grab a bite and everything is just fine, almost as good as before, until Tony starts to talk sweet to the cashier at McDonald's. Peter sees it when Steve's smile falls and he turns his head to the side. It makes Peter's insides twist and turn but he's quiet about it.  
  
They find a free table and sit down to eat, but that's when things get ugly.  
  
"Would you look at that." Tony says with a grin as he picks up the receipt with something scribbled on the back. "She gave me her number! Guess I really don't need to go that slutty bar to get lucky."  
  
"No." Peter simply says before snatching the piece of paper from Tony's hand and ripping it into tiny little pieces.  
  
"What the hell, kid! Jealous much?"  
  
"You have a family!"  
  
"Peter, don't!" Steve gives Peter a warning look, but the teenager doesn't even glance at him.  
  
"You keep flirting and you're always an asshole to me and dad and yes, I know it's not entirely your fault, but you're hurting us. Especially Steve! And you're doing it deliberately, too! I know you, we both do. And you wanna know why? Because we're your freaking family! You and Steve are married and I'm your son!"  
  
"Peter!" Steve was rarely aggressive towards his son but now his voice was strong and his hand hit the table strongly enough to leave a crack.  
  
Peter looked at Steve with watery eyes before he got up and ran out. Steve was about to run after him when he remembered Tony, who still had not shown any kind of reaction to what Peter said.  
  
"Tony-" Steve stared and moved a hand touch his shoulder, but Tony flinched away and looked at him blankly for a second before getting up to leave as well. Steve ran a hand through his hair and stayed there for a long time, thinking about what to do.


	6. Chapter 6

Tony lifted the glass to his lips once again, the expensive vodka burning down his throat. It wasn't the familiar alcohol burn, no, that he could handle well. It was something else, something worse, that he couldn't define no matter how hard he tried. He filled the glass again and threw the empty bottle at the trashcan on the other side of the kitchen table. The glass broke into pieces and with a deafening sound as it hit the ground, since Tony had missed his target. After a long moment looking at the shards of glass he shrugged and got up to fetch another bottle.  
  
Two days have passed since what happened at the mall, and Tony hasn't left his apartment in that time. He hasn't been talking to JARVIS either, or showering, or eating. The mini bar is almost empty and he groans as he gets back to the kitchen with a bottle of whiskey in hand, not feeling like going out to get more alcohol.  
  
Steve doesn't try to talk to him during those two days and it makes Tony angry and sad and he doesn't understand it. He thinks about it over and over but he can't understand this feeling. He hates it, it's painful.  
  
He thinks a lot about that day and he wants to laugh because Tony Stark is not a family man. It's so ridiculous, and he wonders if it was all a really bad joke, but Peter actually looked hurt and Steve...  
  
Tony can't think about Steve, not without booze around. Every time he thinks about the scared look on the Captain's face right before Tony left, he feels the need to tip down an entire bottle in one go just so he can wipe that image out of his mind. He almost calls Pepper, to ask her if it was true, but she would know just how drunk he was and scold him instead.  
  
'You're hurting us. Especially Steve! And you're doing it deliberately, too! I know you, we both do.' Peter had said. Tony thought about it over and over and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't deny that he really was doing everything on purpose. He didn't want to go to a bar, he didn't want the nurse's or the cashier's number. He didn't want to hook up. Tony felt the need to play the 'gross playboy' because he was getting too close to Steve, he needed Steve to hate him and no matter how arrogant Tony was, Captain America never did. It annoyed Tony to no end.  
  
"Sir," JARVIS called and Tony noticed that he had been lost in thought. "You seem to have failed to hear the doorbell. You have a visitor."  
  
As he walked to the door on unsteady feet, Tony thought of how much he hated when his own AI seemed to sound disappointed at him. It was only when he reached the door that Tony wondered who it could be, but he opened it before his brain could try to guess. His eyes widened and he almost dropped his drink when he saw Peter.  
  
"Well, you look disgusting." Peter said, trying and failing to not show any kind of emotion, and Tony wondered if Steve would have thought the same, concluding that this is what he should have tried in the first place. In the meantime, Peter walked past Tony and let himself in the house. "Go take a shower as I fix you some coffee. I want you to sober up a bit for the talk we're about to have."  
  
Tony laughed. He actually laughed and he didn't hold it back, slamming the door shut and leaning against it. "Hold the fuck up, kid. You can't just come to my house uninvited and start ordering me around."  
  
"I know you don't remember, but this is my house too. And I apologize for not being capable of respecting you when you're this drunk."  
  
"You better be here to apologize." Tony replied, trying for stern and intimidating but the words came out slurred. He pushed himself off the door and headed to the bathroom when Peter didn't reply.  
  
After 15 minutes under the cold running water, Tony wrapped a towel around his waist and looked for clean clothes. The smell of shampoo from his dripping hair didn't mask the smell of strong coffee from the kitchen and he got dressed a little faster, finally feeling just how much he needed the caffeine.  
  
He arrived the kitchen when he was still running a towel over his hair, and he let it fall to his shoulders when he caught a glimpse of the mug on the table. Tony immediately reached for it as he glanced over at Peter, who was leaning against the counter and facing the floor with a frown. When the coffee burned his tongue, Tony wondered if Peter had done that on purpose.  
  
"You can talk now." Tony's words make Peter look up and his expression changes. Tony curses himself for not being able to read him once again.  
  
"I did come to apologize." Peter finally speaks after a long sigh, and it catches Tony off guard. "I had no right to say the things I said, it was clearly not the best for you. Or anyone. But I meant it, and I'm not taking it back, but you're still my father and I didn't have the right to-"  
  
"Stop it right there, that's bullshit. I'm not your father."  
  
Peter sighed once again out of irritation, but kept his tone even. "It's no use denying it now, so you should just accept it."  
  
"I may not remember the last seven years, but I know myself, I wouldn't get married, or have a kid. At least not on purpose."  
  
"Right." Peter rolled his eyes. "You know what you were like 7 years ago. But Steve changed you, and looking at you right now I have to say, I have no idea how he managed to."  
  
"I'm pretty sure I wouldn't change for anyone." Tony subconsciously raised his voice, but was quick to clear his throat and tone it down again. "And I don't believe anyone could change me. Not even Captain America."  
  
"You can convince yourself of that all you want, that doesn't change the fact that you are married to him and that you love him."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"No. It's like I said before, there's no use in denying it now, so you might as well stop pretending that you don't give a shit about us, because I know you do. Steve too, but he's losing faith, and all because you decided to play around instead of going straight to him and tell him that you like him."  
  
"I don't."  
  
"Don't give me that crap! This is classic Tony Stark, trying to get away from the people he cares about. You may as well stop right now because you won't drive Steve away from you."  
  
"I'm not so sure about that." Tony's voice is ridiculously broken and he hates himself for that. "He hasn't tried to contact me after the other day."  
  
"He's giving you time and space. For some reason, Steve is convinced that he's the one who messed up and that you don't wanna see him, so he stays away. He's determined to not speak to you until you recover your memory."  
  
That scares Tony more than he'd like to admit. He has no idea when his memory will be back, it could take way too long, long enough for Steve to forget about him and maybe move on. It's terrifying, and Tony feels silly for feeling like that. He doesn't remember being married to Steve, doesn't remember loving him, and yet he's afraid of losing that.  
  
He's about to say something, anything that would make Peter want to convince Steve that was a bad idea, but the teenage boy is gone. Stark almost wonders if that had been a drunken hallucination, but those usually only happen after the third bottle. He sits down and taps his fingers on the table, his head hurts partially from the alcohol, but Tony knows that's not the main reason.  
  
He tries and tries and tries to remember, by that only gets his headache to grow stronger. He lays his head on top of his arms in the table and tries to think of a plan.


	7. Chapter 7

It takes Tony another two days to get himself together and sober up before he decides to go have a talk with Steve. He thinks about what to say, but nothing comes to mind so he figures he'll come up with something on the spot. Or at least he hopes so.  
  
It's not until he's out the door that Tony remembers that he doesn't know where to go. 'Damn kid,' he thinks as he dials Pepper's number on his cell. 'Comes here to make me feel guilty and doesn't even tell me where to go to fix it.'  
  
"What did you do this time?" Pepper sounds busy on the other end of the line, and Tony could try to feel bad about bothering her if she didn't greet him like that.  
  
"Aren't you sweet." Tony deadpans and rolls his eyes, and he knows that somehow Pepper can hear it. "Where does Captain Khakis live?"  
  
"Why?" She sounds more interested in the conversation now.  
  
"Pepper, I promise I'm about to do a good thing. Will you give me his address?"  
  
"Fine." Pepper replies after a pause and gives Tony what he wants.  
  
"You're an angel, I should give a promotion. Wait, I did! Genius."  
  
"I'm trusting you here. If you break my trust you're going to suffer." Pepper hangs up before Tony can reply, he shrugs it off and walks down the street to the place where Steve and Peter are currently living.  
  
Steve groans when the doorbell rings and drags himself off the couch to check who is interrupting his drawing. As he opens the door Steve freezes on the spot at the sight of Tony. His brain is still not fully functioning when he steps to the side and Tony walks past him and into the apartment.   
  
"So." Tony starts because the silence is making him uncomfortable.  
  
"Hi, sorry. Hi."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Sorry, sorry." Steve finally moves from the door. "You want something? Coffee?"  
  
"You okay there, Cap?" Tony asks, only half joking.  
  
"Yes. I just... You're here."  
  
"Brilliant deduction. Coffee sounds great." Tony smiles and when Steve smiles back he feels a little less nervous.  
  
Steve goes to the kitchen and Tony looks around the small apartment. The first thing he notices is the lack of pictures and tv, but there's a stack of books on the coffee table that Tony assumes is what keeps Steve entertained. There's also an open sketch book, the edges of it are worn but it doesn't look too old, which means that the owner must use it often. Curiosity takes the best of him, and before Tony can stop himself he's sitting on the couch and looking at a neat sketch of the stack of books in the coffee table. That, by itself, shouldn't be too impressive, but the detail is outstanding, especially on the book that lies on top. The cover is an exact replica and Tony feels that he can almost count how many pages the book has just from looking at the sketch.   
  
Steve walks in at that moment and Tony throws the sketch book back at the coffee table with a bit too much strength and it ends up flying right over it and to the floor. He still looks away, as if nothing happened, but he hears Steve's chuckle and looks up at him with a half smile on his lips, a hand running through his hair and overall looking guilty.  
  
"It's okay." Steve hands him a cup of steaming black coffee that smells strong and Tony almost sighs in delight. "You used to check my drawings all the time."  
  
"Really?" Tony asks before taking a small sip of the hot beverage in his hand, testing the temperature. It's just the way he likes it and if it's not his favourite brand, it sure as hell tastes like it. Steve simply nods as picks his sketch pad up from the floor and places it back on the coffee table.  
  
Tony takes a long pause and thinks about what Peter said two days before. 'You know what you were like 7 years ago.'. He wonders just how much he could have changed in that time and looks at Steve, who is looking at the coffee table and not saying a word.  
  
"What am I like?" Tony finally asks, and it makes Steve look at him with a questioning raised eyebrow. "I mean, before the amnesia. And, you know, as a... Husband. And father. What was I like?"  
  
"Like yourself." Steve replies and his features soften, a small affectionate smile gracing his lips. "Just... More sincere."  
  
"How so?" Tony brings the cup to his lips and frowns when there's no coffee left.  
  
"You let yourself be happy. You smile genuinely, and you say what you feel without holding back any of it. You're still sarcastic, self-centered and a hopeless workaholic, but you care about your family and you're not afraid to show it. And the best of it all, that side of you is a side only me and Peter know, and it feels great to know that you're willing to share it with us."  
  
Steve is still smiling when he stops talking and Tony is surprised to find his own lips curving slightly up. He puts down the cup he was still holding and shifts in his sit to look at Steve more directly.  
  
"How did you do that?" He asks because he honestly never thought someone could turn him into a family man.  
  
"I didn't do anything."  
  
"You must have done something. I am not like that. I am not accusing you of putting a weird spell on me but you totally did something."  
  
There is a long pause and Steve looks down at his fidgeting hands on his lap. "I fell for you. And I fought for you. That's all."  
  
Tony's eyes widen and something in his chest feels strange, like an ache that feels good. He stays quiet for a long time, not knowing what to say to that, but a million of things running through his mind.   
  
"Why?" Tony finally asks and bites his tongue right after, feeling dumb for asking that.  
  
"I don't know." Steve doesn't look up, but he's smiling. "You can't exactly say why you fall for someone, if you try it will come out as something really lame like 'because you're perfect', which is not entirely a lie. When you fall for someone, they're perfect to you... And now I'm rambling, I'm sorry."  
  
Steve was avoiding using the word 'love' because he knows how long it took for Tony to not be scared of it anymore. It's all gone now, and Steve doesn't want to scare him away with four letters. Which is why he looks up worried when Tony takes too long to reply, because he's afraid he messed up. But Tony doesn't look scared, he just looks like he's still swallowing Steve's words and when he finally does, he smiles.  
  
"I, uh." Tony runs his hand over his face, because amnesiac Tony sucks at apologizing. "I guess I've been kinda hard on you. In my defense, I had no idea that we... You know. It's all your fault, really. But still, I... I'm sorry for trying to drive you away." It actually feels great, and when Steve smiles the way he does it's all worth it.  
  
"It's not like it would ever work." Steve waves a hand dismissing the subject.  
  
"Are you a saint or something? You gotta be a saint to put up with me." Steve  chuckles once again and shakes his head and Tony feels warm. He thinks about what Steve said before, about Tony saying what he feels and not holding it back, and takes a deep breath. "I kinda want to kiss you."  
  
For a long moment, Steve is quiet. He avoids looking at Tony because if he does he is going to launch forward and kiss him, and Steve is not sure if that's the right thing to do, even though Tony was the one who brought it up. So, to make sure it's right, he asks "Why?"  
  
"Because I like you." Once again, it feels great. "And apparently I'm your husband, so I guess it's okay to like you and want to kiss you."  
  
Steve finally looks back at Tony and practically throws himself at him, grabbing at his tie to pull him closer. They are not kissing yet and Steve lingers for a second, their foreheads touching and their lips so close he can feel the warmth of Tony's mouth.   
  
"There's no turning back, Tony. You can't keep on denying our marriage if we kiss now."  
  
So Tony closes the gap between their lips, because he doesn't want to be the man he was seven years ago, he wants a family. He wants to be the person Steve described earlier and he wants Steve and Peter to help him remember.   
  
Steve's lips are softer than they look and they feel familiar. The hand on the back of Tony's neck is comforting and Steve's shoulder under Tony's hand is warm. Under his closed eyelids, Tony can see Steve  and it feels like a memory, but it's too distant. Right now, it doesn't matter.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve smiles as he kisses Tony, fighting the urge to push him down on the couch and touch him the way he wants to so much. He pulls away slowly and Tony is biting Steve's lips, it feels like forever since the last time he has done that and Steve chuckles quietly.   
  
"Are you sure, Tony?" He asks quietly.   
  
Tony nods. "I was sure before, right? I married you, apparently." He shrugs lightly and smiles. "I trust my own decisions."   
  
Steve grins and nods. "Wait here." He gets up from the couch and runs to his room before sitting back down next to Tony. "No pressure, you don't actually need to wear it, but--" Steve sighs and gives Tony a gold ring matching the one in his own left ring finger.  
  
Tony takes the ring from Steve's  hand a smiles slightly, looks at it for a second and takes a deep breath before putting it around his finger. "Thanks."   
  
"Thank  _you_." Steve replied with a smile of his own.   
  
" _Now_  will you tell me more about myself?" Tony asks and leans against Steve's side.   
  
Steve bites his lip and sighs. "I don't know, Tony..."   
  
"Please!" Tony groans. "It helps me remember... When you first told me about the arc reactor and Afghanistan, it triggered memories. I hate this, Steve... You keep telling me about this person that I became and I don't remember any of it. I feel-- Lost!"   
  
Steve swallows thickly and nods. "Alright... But I won't tell you much."   
  
"Yeah?" Tony smiles. "Are you gonna tell me what happened? How we met?"   
  
Steve nods and sighs, readying himself to start telling him everything. "I don't want to get into a lot details on this part, but when I crashed back then I was... Frozen. I was asleep on ice for around 70 years." He feels Tony nod along and smiles. "You were a jerk when we met. Called me 'capsicle'."   
  
"Sounds about right." Tony snorts.  
   
Steve nods and smiles. "SHIELD put a team together. A team of people with special abilities to fight big threats. We were both part of it. Captain America and Iron Man, that is. That's when we met. It took us a while to actually get along, though. We got on each other's nerves that first day, but I guess we didn't have a lot of time for that when we were trying to save the world." He smiles fondly. "Then the whole team started living together and we had to tolerate each other. It took us about a year until Miss Potts had to intervene and make us go on a date." Steve blushes lightly as he grins.  
  
Tony laughs and nods. "She would do that..."   
  
"And she did. And I still thank her for it..." Steve says fondly and looks at Tony, who is looking at his hand on his lap and frowning. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I'm married to you and I don't remember our first date."   
  
Steve sighs and kisses Tony's temple. "You will, eventually."   
  
"But what if I don't?"   
  
"You remembered other things. You remembered about the captivity and you remembered Iron Man, right? You'll remember the rest."   
  
Tony sighs and nods. "Tell me more?"   
  
"It's not good for you..."   
  
"Steve..."   
  
Steve smiles softly and wraps his arm around Tony's shoulder. "After that we dated for two years, you slowly became more confident of yourself and our relationship. And then you proposed."   
  
"Really? It was me?" Tony raises an eyebrow and leans more of his weight on Steve's side.  
  
"Yes." Steve grins. "I wasn't expecting it either."   
  
"How about Peter?"   
  
"He started living with us about two years ago. Peter is-- Well, he's different. You know, like you and me, he has special skills, he's 'Spiderman'. SHIELD was keeping an eye on him for a long time, and then when he was 16 his aunt passed away and Director Fury approached him. At first he was supposed to stay at SHIELD headquarters but I sympathized with Peter and convinced you to let him live with us." Steve grins. "Since he was underage, we ended up adopting him."   
  
"You must be really good in bed to convince me to adopt a snappy teenager." Tony jokes and shakes his head. "He really likes you, though. Standing up to me and all."  
  
"He really likes you, too. Except when you act like an asshole."   
  
"Fair enough." Tony shrugs. "You two should come back."  
  
"… Really? You don't have to, you know?"   
  
Tony nods. "I know. I want to. It'll probably help me. And I'd really enjoy it..."   
  
Steve smiles and nods before pressing a small kiss to Tony's lips. "I'd really enjoy it, too."


End file.
